We're having auditions tomorrow, and the thought fills me with something halfway between guilt and joy.
I know plenty of people who get off on the power of being on the decision side of the table when it comes to auditions. That's never been me, and luckily it's not any of the producers or director of Say Goodbye Toto with me.
When I was growing up, I did my fair share of community theater. Children's Theater, Musicals, things like Annie, West Side Story, Oliver. I wasn't bad, but I wasn't a star either. I was usually a chorus member, someone in the back who could stay on key and not fall off the stage.
In those auditions, I watched the people on the decision side of the table, and they seemed to be taking themselves SO seriously. Like this was a life or death decision here, just WHO exactly was going to be Conseula!? We HAVE to cast a Mr. Bumble! You're not good enough to be Pepper the Orphan!
And I remember very well the needy feeling in the pit of my stomach. I AM good enough to be your Pepper the Orphan! I AM! Pick meeeeeeeeeeeee!
So now, I feel a bit uncomfortable on the decision side of the table. I don't wanna look like I'm taking myself too seriously. This isn't rocket science here. We're trying to put on a play! In the barn in the backyard (not really.) We wanna make people laugh!
I love auditions when people come in and make me laugh. I wrote the words, but if you can elevate it to the next level and make me laugh, I love you forever.
But over everything else, this is the important next step to getting this thing up and running. I don't know what to expect tomorrow. I don't know who to expect, really. But I know that when we're cast, it'll feel that much more real.
- Amy Heidish