Wednesday, April 24, 2013

So let's Talk About This Accessories and Groomers thing.

So let’s talk about The Groomers Wanting To Put Things In Your Fur Phenomenon.

First of all… why? 

What is it with people, okay, let’s be fair here, what is it with Groomers wanting to tie bows in your ears, or handkerchiefs around your neck, or whatever after they’re done washing and blow drying you?

What is WITH this phenomenon?  Seriously, you’re gonna have to help me because I’m a dog and I don’t understand it.

I have been doing a lot of heavy thinking about the subject, and I think I’ve got it narrowed down to a few options:

#1 – The event of washing and drying a dog at the groomers is so traumatic, they think dressing us up will make us forget the previous horror.

#2 – They think we look cute in them.

#3 – They think we look stupid in them and they’re secretly laughing as our owners take us out the door.

#4 – They’re bored.

#5 – They’re bored and the accessories are right there, and better on a dog than a human?

#6 – The kerchief keeps us cool. (it doesn't)

#7 – The kerchief makes us LOOK cool. (not really)

#8 – The kerchief is a secret code for an underground turf war known only to rival groomers across the city, i.e. THIS DOG IS MINE!  YOU CAN’T HAVE ‘EM!  MINE MINE MINE!

Regardless, I can tell you, from personal experience, that regardless of your groomer’s intentions, YOUR DOG DOES NOT WANT A BOW IN ITS EARS, OR A KERCHIEF AROUND ITS NECK!

I mean, really.  We kinda hate it.  We kinda hate it a lot.  It doesn’t matter how cute you think we look, cutting those things out of here is an absolute witch of a situation.

So next time you take your little wagalong to the groomer’s simply opt out of the Accessories After The Bath option.  Your dog will thank you for it.  Trust me.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Ask Toto #39

Dear Toto:

So Seriously.  Dogs chasing their tail.  What's the deal?

Confused on East Coast

Hi there, East Coast!

Why do dogs chase their tails.  Okay, remember when you were a kid and you would spin around and collapse to the floor in a giggling heap?  I mean, that’s what Dorothy would do a lot of the time, she said getting dizzy was fun.  Uncle Henry would sometimes get dizzy after a few drinks, but he wouldn’t spin so much as kinda stagger around the barn for awhile.


I’m guessing it’s the same sensation.  Dogs spin around because it’s dizzy and freeing and fun! 

And let’s talk about the tail.  THE TAIL!  Have you ever chomped down on your toes?  It’s hard to do as an adult, but babies seem to be perfectly able to stick their feet in their mouths.

And that’s fun, too, to lightly nibble on something that’s attached to you.  So add that, plus Dizzy Is Fun, and you’ve got the answer to your spinning dog.

But now that has me thinking, tell me, why do humans pick their nose?

Thanks for the question!

Ask Toto A Question runs twice a month until the questions run out.  Don't let that happen!  Send Toto your queries at