Sunday, February 15, 2009

Ask Toto A Question #5

Ask Toto # 5

Dear Toto,

Ever bite a munchkin?


Hi HB!

Oh, I bite Munchkins all the time. I LOOOOOOOVE biting Munchkins, they’re so easy to bite, them being so close to the ground and all. They’ve got thick ankles, which are the BEST kind to wrap a jaw around.

Of course, Dorothy hates it when I do, so I have to wait until she’s not looking, and then it’s not a bite so much as it is a soft kronche , which is kinda demeaning, so I wait until she’s not looking and then I bite down harder, and a Munchkin squeal is SO rewarding, heh heh heh.

And this is as good of a time as any to talk about self-control. I don’t have it. Dogs are not born with it. Therefore, when you humans do the Hand On Your Hips and Head Shaking move and say things like “Why can’t you just LEARN not to shred the couch!” you’re not getting it. I can’t NOT shred the couch. I HAVE to shred the couch. I HAVE to chase the cat. I HAVE to bite the Munchkin. Dogs don’t have self-control, they only have instincts, and my instincts tell me that Munchkin ankle is YUMMERS, and, and, and I HAVE TO BITE IT.

I’m trying to get better at it. I know that I get slapped if I bite the Munchkins. I know that No Biting Munchkin Ankle means No Slap. I just can’t help myself. Because there’s no self-control. It can be freeing in a way. You should try it sometime. Thanks for the question!

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