Monday, August 20, 2012

Ask Toto #27

Dear Toto,

What do you think about the new movie - Oz, Great And Powerful?

-- from the internet

Yep, yep.  I've been getting this question a bunch.  It makes sense.  It's a movie about Oz.  I've been to Oz.  My story (some would say it's Dorothy's story and I happen to be in it, but you know, MY BLOG, MY PERCEPTION, MY RULES) is one of the great classic tales about Oz.  I should have an opinion about this, shouldn't I?

Before I say anything, here's the trailer:

Prequels are tough.  I haven't seen a lot of them that I liked.  Maybe parts of Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me?  The parts that I didn't cover my eyes with my paws and zoom under the bed?  Dorothy says things like the most recent Star Trek and Godfather II are prequels, but since I thought they were stand alone movies, I didn't count them as prequels.  Maybe that's the point?  I mean... HEY, I'M A DOG!  NOT A MOVIE CRITIC!

In depicting Oz, the trailer kinda gives off the stench of an overripe tomato (felt the same way about the recent reboot of Alice In Wonderland, too).  It seems like it's trying too hard to use a lot of callbacks to the 1939 version of Wizard Of Oz.  And when you do that, it becomes less of a stand alone movie and more of a potential mess.  I guess I'll buy a ticket (Wait, I'm a dog, I don't have to buy tickets, Dorothy sneaks me into the theater in her basket), but I have really kind of ehhhhhhhh feelings about this.   But what do you expect?  #1 - I'm a dog.  #2 - the movie doesn't have ME in it.  Did you think I was gonna be overjoyed by it?  NOT REALLY.

thanks for the question!
Ask Toto A Question runs twice a month until the questions run out. Don't let that happen! Send Toto your queries at

Monday, August 6, 2012

Ask Toto #26

Dear Toto,

Why didn't you bite Miss Gulch harder?

-- from the internet

Hey there!  Okay, to straighten things out a tad:  Miss Gulch was in the movie, The Wizard of Oz, not in the original story about my life, L. Frank Baum's The Wonderful Wizard Of Oz.  It's important to be clear about things from the get go.

As such, I wasn't the one in The Wizard Of Oz movie.  That would be Terry, the cairn terrier, who does a FANTASTIC job conveying my mixed emotions at arriving in Oz (I hate it here!/must protect Dorothy!/what IS that thing coming to kill us?!)

But if I HAD to take a guess at why Terry playing me and the 18 WRITERS (seriously, people, just look here ) didn't have Toto bite Miss Gulch harder is, well, she's a tough old bird.  And dogs are not cannibals.  No need to chomp through the skin.  One warning bite is enough to get the broad to back off.  Besides, the character of me in Wizard Of Oz had a GREAT reason to bite Miss Gulch:  

 Oh, but Aunt Em, Miss Gulch hit Toto right 
 over the back with a rake just because she 
 says he gets in her garden and chases her 
 nasty old cat every day.

YOU DON'T HIT A DOG WITH A RAKE!  DON'T DO IT!  IT'S MEAN, ROTTEN AND WRONG!  Miss Gulch deserved to be bit!  A bunch!  Oooooh, ooooooh, now I'm just madder than mad.  I'm gonna have to go take a dip in the lake to cool off.

So, lesson we've learned today - Miss Gulch is tough.  Terry is Cairn Terrier is playing a version of me, but is NOT me.  18 writers on the MGM version of Wizard Of Oz is excessive.  And above all else, don't hit your dog with a rake.  

Thanks for the question!

Ask Toto A Question runs twice a month until the questions run out. Don't let that happen! Send Toto your queries at