Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Ask Toto #57

Dear Toto,

Okay, let's talk about the really important things - where is the best place to sit for Thanksgiving that will guarantee you the best amount of food?

 - Planning ahead in Iowa.

I LIKE the way you think, Planning Iowan!  This is a very important question that involves a lot of strategy.

The primary thing to keep in mind is that you don't wanna blow your plan too early.  I see a lot of dogs who jump the gun and get underfoot when they see the turkey being pulled out of the freezer.  That's a whole SIX HOURS ahead of the dinner.

So it's that silly dog that starts drooling over a frozen turkey, gets in the way, and then is banished from the kitchen and the dining room and NO Thanksgiving scraps for him.

Don't be like that dog.  Be smarter.  Follow my easy 1-2-3- 4 step plan.

#1 - Be quietly cute from the get go.  This means giving your humans space in the kitchen while they cook.  They're gonna be in there all day, so be nearby, but not underfoot.  Stay close to a well traveled doorway, but don't block it.  You want people to see your cute furry face and go "awwwwww, look at how well behaved he is," not trip over you.

#2 - Case out the spill zones.  While you're being quietly cute in the well traveled doorway, take mental notes of potential spill zones.  This includes the kitchen sink, the stove, the oven, and the garbage can.  For my money, the kitchen sink is the best bet.  Stuff that falls from the stove is generally too hot to consume at first gobble.  Some dogs aren't picky about the trash can, but for my money, if your humans don't wanna eat it and are throwing it away, it's probably not good enough for you to eat too.  You're a dog, not a garbage disposal. Have some standards.

#3 - Case out the dinner guests.  Who looks like a sucker?  Who looks like they're gonna drop a lot of things?  Especially little kids.  Little kids LOVE dogs and they don't love getting the food to their face.

#4 - Dinner time! Again, patience and discretion are your friends.  If you take your time and put yourself under the table next to the right person, instead of jumping on every single person that comes through the door, everyone will think you're adorable and so well behaved, and would you like some turkey?  YES PLEASE.

Using these steps should guarantee maximum Thanksgiving goodies in your tummy.  I know it's really tough to be calm, cool, and collected when it's such a sensory overload of sights, sounds, and SMELLS, but slow, quiet, and cute wins this race.

thanks for the question and have a Happy Thanksgiving!

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