Let’s Talk About This Grumpy Cat Thing

So perhaps I’m slightly late to this party, but everyone seems to love Grumpy Cat.

This perplexes me on a number of levels.  First of all, IT’S A CAT!  DON’T YOU KNOW THAT CATS ARE EVIL, PEOPLE?  The silent deadly threat of Cat Nation is slowly infiltrating the world, just waiting for the signal given to them by a Supreme Cat Being, and when they get that signal, they will KILL US ALL.

But aside from that.

Grumpy Cat’s real name is Tardar Sauce and you’ll have to excuse me for a few seconds while I go LAUGH MY HEAD OFF AT THAT NAME!

Okay, I’m back.

Tardar Sauce’s appearance is due to a condition of feline dwarfism, and an underbite, giving her a perpetually sour look.  One picture posted by her owner’s brother in September of last year and thus, a viral meme is born.

Since then, Grumpy Cat has a website, a manager, a book, a calendar, a schedule of media appearances, a documentary, a FUTURE LINE OF COFFEE DRINKS CALLED GRUPPUCCINOS and a feature film adaptation are in the works.

 

All for this cat:

 

Okay, fine, maybe I’m a little bit jealous.  Not of a cat.  But because of the publicity that cat is receiving.

See, I’m an old school dog.  And there’s not a ton of pictures of me on the internet.

 

And I’m not talking about Terry, the dog who plays me in the movie.

I’m talking me.  ME.  This is a photo of me.  But it’s very small.  Too small to put a meme on.  

  

Because when you try, it looks like this:

 

So if anyone out there would like to take that picture of  me and blow it up and make it pretty and sharp and in focus, maybe together we could start the next big thing.

Bigger than a cat.