Thursday, January 9, 2014

Ask Toto #50

Dear Toto,

Do you have any New Year’s Resolutions?

Compulsive List Maker

Hi Compulsive!

My resolution is the same every year.  It’s the same every year because I break it every year.  And that resolution is…

I promise to be nice to the cat.

It’s a resolution that Dorothy wants me to make, and I want to make her happy, really I do.  But it’s SO DARN HARD!

I promise to be nice to the cat.

You ever notice how the cat doesn’t make any resolutions at all?  I promise not to bother Toto.  That would be a GREAT resolution for the cat, and the cat doesn’t do bupkiss.  Just slinks around, so hoity toity and sneering at me and twitching its tail and thinking its so great and then I just have to BARK BARK BARK and chase it all over the house and hopefully into the water trough outside because I promise you, a wet cat is an awesome sight to see.

I promise to be nice to the cat.

Does it have to be “nice”?  Can it be “civil”?  “Polite”?  “Steadfastly ignoring you until you upset me”?

I am a dog.  I will try my best.  But don’t blame me if I break the resolution… oh, about two days ago.

Thanks for the question!

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