Monday, April 2, 2012

Let’s Talk About This April Fool’s Day Thing

So yesterday, Dorothy called for me to come into the living room. Where she sat me down in front of the fireplace, and told me there were going to be a few changes around here. You know your stomach drops at that phrase, right? “There’s going to be a few changes around here.”

And I was like, hey, I haven’t done anything wrong. Not in the past hour, anyway. No reason for any changes to be made because of some goof I did. Toilet bowl water is cool and refreshing! If the water in the water bowl was the same crisp temperature as the water in the toilet bowl, I’d be drinking outta that! Why do you humans have to make things so DIFFICULT for us dogs, huh?

Anyhow, so Dorothy had this really solemn look on her face as she says three things:

1. My favorite stuffed rabbit chew toy got accidentally thrown out.
2. She read an article saying bacon is bad for dogs and I can’t have any any more.
3. They’re getting another cat.

Then her mouth kept moving, but I couldn’t hear her anymore and black walls started closing in, like we were driving through a tunnel, and I passed out, and Dorothy thought I was playing dead, and it took a couple of tummy rubs to revive me, and when I finally staggered to my paws, she grinned big and said


Wha-huh? April who? We don’t know anyone named April, so who is she, and what is she doing around here? She sounds pretty evil, and I don’t let Dorothy hang out with evil people. I mean, not here in the states. On our trips to Oz, it’s a little unavoidable, and we manage as best we can.

Dorothy then went on to explain that April 1st is a globally known day for practical jokes, where you prank dogs who love you and give them minor coronaries before screaming APRIL FOOL’S and all is apparently forgiven.

I do not like this date. I do not like it at all.

Still, to get into the spirit of things, I ran outside and found the cat and promptly told it:

1. Dorothy doesn’t love you.
2. Neither does Uncle Henry and Aunt Em
3. You’re not welcome on the farm anymore.

The cat just yawned in my face and said something like, “April Fool’s doesn’t work on cats.”

So then I chased it into the pig’s water trough. And went about my day.

But in all seriousness. Do not prank your dog on April Fool’s. It’s seriously not cool.

Cats are fair game, though.

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