Sunday, September 6, 2009

Ask Toto A Question # 17

Dear Toto,

I've always wondered about your background. No disrespect to Dorothy, but it's obvious that she's a "hick from the sticks" or "local yokel" (as they say in the urban port cities). You, on the other hand, are far more worldly and self-assured. It's simply undeniable! For example, when you and Dorothy travel to Oz, who greets every sight with a slack jaw and eyes a-poppin'? Hint: it's not you. So where do you originally hail from and how did you ever end up on a dreary little farm in Kansas? (I will understand if you can't say anything due to matters of national security, but I sincerely hope that will not be the case.)


Curiouser and Curiouser

Hi Curiouser and Curiouser!

I originally hailed from my mom, though thankfully, I don’t remember a thing about the experience. A lot of people ask me about my breed, and to that I say, hey, YOU try drinking out of a water bowl and coming away with a spotless muzzle….huh? What? Breed, not Breeding?


My breed is Mutt, with an emphasis on terrier. And as to Breeding, I do the best I can. Again, Exhibit A – Low Water Bowl Means No One Comes Away From It Looking Awesome.

As to how did I end up on a farm? Well, um, gosh. Let me ask YOU Curiouser. What’s the first thing you remember out of your whole life? Do you remember being small? Do you remember how you got home from the people hospital? No? Neither do I!

As far back as I remember, it’s always been me and Dorothy, Dorothy and me. There’s not a day that goes by that she’s not in. She’s the very first thing I remember out of all my days. I don’t remember anything before her, and I don’t wanna remember anything without her.

Cause Dorothy’s pretty damn cool.

As far as my cool collected demeanor when we landed in Oz, it’s because, well, I’m awesome. NO, no, it’s just…I’ve got my priorities. Do I wanna stare at the colors? Do I wanna star at the short weird people? NO!

I wanna make sure Dorothy is safe at all times. We’re in the strange land, meeting strange people, seeing strange things. There could be danger at every turn. I gotta make sure my woman is safe and sound and gawking at whatever she wants to gawk at.

So there you go. It’s about priorities. And breeding. HA!

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