Ask Toto A Question #1

Dear Toto - We know Dorothy has great taste in shoes, what kind of shoes do you like? Also, my mind is still on Thanksgiving, how do you celebrate Turkey Day? - Anna

Toto here, with the first question of the Ask Toto A Question feature on this blog. Some of you may be wondering how I can type on a keyboard given my limited opposable thumb action. It’s simple: I tell Dorothy what to type. Good thing it works too, since I don’t know how to spell. Or read. Hey, she’s not trying anything funny, is she? (Toto is currently biting his tail. Don’t tell anyone! Love, D)

Anna has the first question to open things up, and it’s a great one, thanks for sending it in, Anna!

What everyone needs to keep in mind is this: Dorothy’s and my story was a book first, as Dorothy told it to L. Frank Baum when we got back from Oz, and then a movie second. Most people remember the movie first, and the book, not so much.

I bring this up because not only is L. Frank Baum a fantastic writer (I read Toto the stories before bedtime. He’s asleep five pages in. Love, D.), but the way the whole thing went down, Dorothy’s shoes were NOT made of rubies, but were, in fact, silver. That’s right - silver shoes. Trust me, those things were blinding me every single step we took on the Yellow Brick road, them being so close to my eyes and all. Some overthinkers have theories on how the silver shoes are actually political metaphors for William Jennings Bryan's pro-silver presidential candidacy back in 1896, but all I know is that you got a bright sun above, silver shoes by your nose – Glare City, baby. Rubies would’ve been definitely better, a richer color. Who doesn’t love a deep ruby red, right? All the chicks dig gems, I know, I know.

From what I’ve heard, it was an art direction decision to turn the shoes into Ruby Slippers for the movie. I guess they thought with the Tin Man already in there, there was too much metallic going on. Whatever. Tin Man’s a dope, okay? Says he doesn’t have a heart, HE DOES TOO have a heart. It’s all a plot. Tin Man sucks. Him and the rest of the gang…

See, Dorothy and I just argued for ten minutes before she wrote that above sentence. (Toto growled and snarled, and I swatted his nose. Love, D.) Let’s just say our recollections of how things went down in Oz are very very different. You guys have seen her side of the story. My side is much much more complicated.

But as to Anna’s question as to my favorite kind of shoes: Christian Louboutin’s leopard-print mule is quite sassy, but a little impractical for Kansas.

Michael Kors has a Derby style shoe, in RUBY of all colors! But anything that makes Dorothy happy makes me happy. Anything but Crocs. Because those things are nasty looking.

As for Thanksgiving, the holiday finds me always under the table, waiting for Dorothy to feed me bites of her turkey. Don’t tell Uncle Henry or Aunt Em, but she’s really not a turkey gal. But that’s why I’m here – to love her and help out in any way I can, which means conning Aunt Em into thinking her dry as dust Turkey is actually delicious.

Hey, I’m a dog. I’ll eat anything, really.

Ask Toto A Question runs every other week until the questions run out. Don’t let that happen! Send Toto your queries at thedogtoto@yahoo.com.