Ask Toto #18

TOTO: Did you expose the Wizard because your people were too stupid to realize YOU could do it better? @deaniemills

Hi Deanie!

Well, I wouldn’t call them “stupid” so much as “unenlightened.” See, the thing about dogs versus people is that people don’t understand exactly how smart dogs really are. We’ve got you humans all figured out! We train you guys to within an inch of your life.

I scratch at the door means I wanna go outside. If I have you REALLY trained, you’ve installed a dog door so I can go back and forth as I please. Turning circles by the leash means I wanna go on a walk. I’ve got you guys feeding me twice a day, on a pretty set schedule. Barking means I want attention, and rolling over on my back means I want a tummy rub.

It’s not easy to train humans, and some require a little more patience than others, but I’d rather be on the sneaky side and always be underestimated than to have humans catch on to how REALLY smart I am.

It’s ironic (oh yeah, I’m a dog, but I casually drop words like ironic into casual conversation, HELL YEAH I DO! ‘CAUSE I’M SMARTER THAN YOU THINK, SEE!) that we’re talking about patience, because it’s true, when it came down to the showtime with the wizard, I didn’t wait on them. I mean, we’re all in the throne room, and we’re all listening to the disembodied voice saying “Did you kill the Wicked Witch”, and everybody’s trying to be all respectful but they’re scared, and I’m like, why are you all scared of a VOICE!? A VOICE and no body!? Why would anyone be scared of SOUND!?

So I bumped the screen and the curtain and Oops, Here’s a HUMBUG! and really, it’s just a huge lesson in Make Sure Your Throne Furnishings Are Secure, Or Else I’m Gonna Expose Your Butt, you know?

Secure your furnishings, people. Because when you don’t secure, it makes a SEC out of URE and me. Or something like that. Okay, fine, I’m working on my Scrabble skills. WHATEVER!

Thanks for the question!

Ask Toto A Question runs twice a month until the questions run out. Don’t let that happen! Send Toto your queries at thedogtoto@yahoo.com.

Look Who's Back!

And now we're REALLY legit!



















That's right, Say Goodbye, Toto has been published by the good good folks over at Contemporary Drama Service. Now you, your school, your drama department, your local theater community, or your best group of buddies can stage your own version of our lovable little scamp and his revisionist adventures.

Check out our page over at Contemporary Drama Service.

We're moving on up!!!

Pre-Show Rituals

Actors all have their individual pre-show warm-ups – Vocal exercises that seem nutso to random passerby, but are excellent for warming up vocal cords, to yoga and Pilates stretches on the set, to under-breath tongue twisters while pacing backstage (Jake Elsas, who plays the Wizard, and myself traded variations on “The Big Black Bear.”)

But this is the first show I’ve been involved in where the cast has bonded to such a degree that they do group pre-show rituals. Because it’s such an ensemble piece, and there’s so much happening onstage, they play improv games in order to get the creative juices flowing, as well as sharpening focus and concentration. Yes, it would seem nutso to the random passerby as they stand in a circle and shout things like “Zip! Zap! Zop!” while rapidly jabbing fingers at each other. But it’s actually helping them get their energy levels up after what seems like the ten thousandth show. (None of us can remember what life was like before the show, though I’m sure we’ll figure it out soon.)

My favorite part comes when Stephaine Boltjies, our awesome stage director, calls for places. We all circle up, do a Go Team hands in, and then shout “OZ!” and dance around to the Go Bananas song for a few moments. There really is nothing better than being able to dance with your cast. I highly recommend it.

Ask Toto A Question # 17

Dear Toto,

I've always wondered about your background. No disrespect to Dorothy, but it's obvious that she's a "hick from the sticks" or "local yokel" (as they say in the urban port cities). You, on the other hand, are far more worldly and self-assured. It's simply undeniable! For example, when you and Dorothy travel to Oz, who greets every sight with a slack jaw and eyes a-poppin'? Hint: it's not you. So where do you originally hail from and how did you ever end up on a dreary little farm in Kansas? (I will understand if you can't say anything due to matters of national security, but I sincerely hope that will not be the case.)

Signed,

Curiouser and Curiouser

Hi Curiouser and Curiouser!

I originally hailed from my mom, though thankfully, I don’t remember a thing about the experience. A lot of people ask me about my breed, and to that I say, hey, YOU try drinking out of a water bowl and coming away with a spotless muzzle….huh? What? Breed, not Breeding?

Oh.

My breed is Mutt, with an emphasis on terrier. And as to Breeding, I do the best I can. Again, Exhibit A – Low Water Bowl Means No One Comes Away From It Looking Awesome.

As to how did I end up on a farm? Well, um, gosh. Let me ask YOU Curiouser. What’s the first thing you remember out of your whole life? Do you remember being small? Do you remember how you got home from the people hospital? No? Neither do I!

As far back as I remember, it’s always been me and Dorothy, Dorothy and me. There’s not a day that goes by that she’s not in. She’s the very first thing I remember out of all my days. I don’t remember anything before her, and I don’t wanna remember anything without her.

Cause Dorothy’s pretty damn cool.

As far as my cool collected demeanor when we landed in Oz, it’s because, well, I’m awesome. NO, no, it’s just…I’ve got my priorities. Do I wanna stare at the colors? Do I wanna star at the short weird people? NO!

I wanna make sure Dorothy is safe at all times. We’re in the strange land, meeting strange people, seeing strange things. There could be danger at every turn. I gotta make sure my woman is safe and sound and gawking at whatever she wants to gawk at.

So there you go. It’s about priorities. And breeding. HA!

Ask Toto A Question runs every other week until the questions run out. Don’t let that happen! Send Toto your queries at thedogtoto@yahoo.com.

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Right when we're getting our second wind too!



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Toto Does Bingo!

This past Wednesday night, the Ark Theater Company, one of the two theater companies co-producing Say Goodbye Toto, had their annual Drag Queen Bingo fundraiser at Hamburger Mary’s in West Hollywood. For those of you who’ve never been, it’s just like your grandma’s Bingo, though it’s run by the sarcastically hilarious Drag Queen Ms. Bridgette Of Madison County, and Bingo Boy, the creator of it all.

They like to have Celebrity Ballcallers to assist Bridgette, so our very own Renee Scott, who plays Dorothy, and Joe Porter, who plays Toto, gamely dressed up in their costumes and lent a hand, or a paw, as it would be.

Joe forgot to bring his makeup to put on his Toto nose and other markings, so he grabbed a green Bingo dauber, and painted it on that way. It worked surprisingly well.

(Shall we take a moment to admire Toto’s sprightly ears? I made that paper mache headpiece, and attached the ears to it. Lion and Cat also sport the same kind of headpieces, and I made those too, having had no previous paper mache experience. It’s amazing what you can put you mind to and make happen when you have three days until your show opens, ha ha ha.)

Renee and Joe did great, and almost charmed the dress right off of Bridgette (who promptly christened Joe “ToJo.”) Everyone had a lot of fun, we raised money for Ark, and Jake Elsas, who plays the Wizard, ended up winning the grand prize of an Ipod Shuffle. Jake’s been suffering through a sinus infection, and has been told to rest his voice to save it for show nights, so as he won and jumped up to claim his prize, Joe as Toto ran up with him and interpreted his words, which ran something along the lines of “Wow! Thanks! Cool!”

It was awesome.

Ask Toto A Question #16

Hey Toto,

How do you feel about owners that spend tons of money on clothes for dogs? I mean, they're cute but are they really necessary? (Unless you're a sleddog from Alaska). I just find it amusing when owners dress their dogs in jackets, sweaters and booties in Southern California. Why hide their soft & furry coats that nature gave them? Do you have any clothes? Or any must-wear items?

Thanks,
Fur-is-my-coat

Hi Fur-Is-My-Coat!

I gotta say, I’m right there with you on the whole clothes thing. I think it’s dumb. More than dumb, I think it’s DUMB dumb. Like, DUMB DUMB DUMB dumb.

Whenever you see a dog wearing clothes, what do you notice? How SMALL that dog is. So essentially, the owner is putting clothes on a dog because they think the dog is a baby doll. What’s next, making them drink water from a baby bottle? Putting a diaper on them? Feeding them strained carrots? How hard

It’s just dumb.

Do I have any clothes? Nope,. Fur IS our coat. Why put more on, right?

Do I have any must wear items? Well, ummmmmmm. Okay, FINE. Sometimes, when nobody’s looking, I wear this:

But it itches.

Thanks for the question!

Ask Toto A Question runs every other week until the questions run out. Don’t let that happen! Send Toto your queries at thedogtoto@yahoo.com.