Ask Toto #36

@totothedog Here's a question for Toto: Are there any yummy homemade dog treats like these in Oz? 

http://www.steweyunscene.com/2013/01/tasty-treats.html

via  @steweyunscene on Twitter

Hi Stewey!

Holy chickens and cats!  What IS that!?  It’s… it’s… it’s a DOG BISCUIT TREAT MAKER KIT!?  From Bed, Bath and Beyond!?

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

That is one of the most amazing things I’ve ever seen!  A TREAT MAKER KIT!  SO YOU CAN BAKE TREATS FOR YOUR DOG LIKE HUMANS BAKE COOKIES FOR THEMSELVES!

Wow!  Now I’ve gotta find the closest store in Kansas and direct Dorothy to it to get it for us!

Is there anything like that in Oz?  Nope, can’t say there is.  Ozma and Glinda haven’t let any earthly retail corporations set up shop in Oz (which is good, who wants to see a Starbucks in the Emerald City, right?)

So no Starbucks, no Bed Bath and Beyond, no Target, your iPhones don’t work in Oz, but that’s why Oz and everything in it is timeless.

But the good people of Oz generally bake me treats, It just depends on which part of Oz I’m in.  The Munchkins put blueberries in their treats, the Quadlings dust theirs with cinnamon, the Gilikins stuff theirs with beets (they’re the ones I like the least), and the ones the Winkies make taste like roasted corn.

It’s one of the few things I like when I’m in Oz – being that I’m the only dog there, I can generally get anyone to bake me dog treats whenever I want.

But I’m definitely making Dorothy get the Treat Maker Kit for us in Kansas 

Thanks for the question!

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Ask Toto #35

Dear Toto,

Is there ever a reason you would WANT to go to Oz?

 -- ABB from Kissimmee

Hi ABB!  

Are you related to ABBA?  Dorothy likes to dance around to Take A Chance On Me, though I don't understand the video at all.  Shouldn't they be happier?  And what's wrong with the lens, it's foggy a lot of the time!

But!  That's not what you asked, you asked if there's ever a reason I'd WANT to go to Oz.  You are so perceptive, you totally understand that I HATE OZ.  HATE IT HATE IT  HATE IT!

And people don't understand.  They're all "Hey, Toto, Oz is great.  Oz is cool!  Everyone else likes Oz, why don't you?"

Here's my top three reasons why Toto Hates Oz:

#3 Winged Monkeys.  Look, I haven't spent a lot of time in jungles, and even I know that MONKEYS AREN'T SUPPOSED TO FLY!  The fact that they do so in Oz FREAKS ME OUT

#2 Too Much Color.  Munchkins are blue, Winkies are yellow, Quadlings are red, Gilikins are purple and the Emerald City is green.  I know everyone thinks that dogs are color blind, but I'm here to tell you that I see ALL the colors in Oz and it hurts my head to take it all in!  Imagine a technicolor rainbow spiral drilled into your eyes 24/7.  That's what it's like to be a dog in Oz. (and technically, there aren't any dogs in Oz, just me, when Dorothy forces me to go.  Nobody understands my pain.)

#1  Magic.  There's magic everywhere in Oz!  And people think it's awesome, look at all the fun stuff you can do with it.  But I don't trust it!  And it gets people into trouble all the time!  Sure, Ozma and Glinda can do nifty stuff, but they're professionals.  And they're not infallible.  Ozma got turned into a gold peach pit because of magic.  Just be normal, people.  I know it's hard to do since you're in Oz and everything, but still.

But!  ABB, you asked if there ever was a reason I'd want to go to Oz!  And the answer is pretty simple - if Dorothy wants to go, I'll go.  Because I love her dearly, and I'll go where she goes.  I may not like it a whole lot, but I'll do it for her.

Thanks for the question!

Ask Toto A Question runs twice a month until the questions run out.  Don't let that happen!  Send Toto your queries at thedogtoto@yahoo.com

Ask Toto #34

Dear Toto,

How old are you?

- Mandy from Kissimmee, FL.

Hi Mandy!

What a great question, because not a lot of people know this about me.

I am technically five years old in human years, 35 years old in dog years, BUT GET THIS!

One of the super super secret things that Ozma from Oz did for me and Dorothy is that we… never… grow… old.

WE NEVER GROW OLD.

Because Ozma figured that we needed to stay the same age to make sure children all over the world, and the new children that are born every day and haven’t heard our story yet, will always be able to experience us in our youth!

So once a year, we go to Oz.  People in Oz never grow old, did you know that?  Totally true.  And we eat just enough food and drink there to where we’ll stay the same age for another year when we get back to the real world.

So I am forever FIVE!!!!  It’s an awesome age to forever be, I can tell you that much.

Thanks for the question!

Ask Toto A Question runs twice a month until the questions run out.  Don't let that happen!  Send Toto your queries at thedogtoto@yahoo.com

Ask Toto #33

Dear Toto,

What else was in Dorothy’s basket?

 -- Marc from Orlando

Hi Marc! 

Very very technically, when Dorothy and I went on the original adventure in The Wonderful Wizard Of Oz, she put bread and covered it with cloth in the basket for snacks on the yellow brick road (it’s in Chapter 3 – “How Dorothy Saved The Scarecrow”)

These days, Dorothy carries anything and everything in there.  A hairbrush, a change purse, some energy bars, some hair elastics for her pigtails when she wears them. The one thing she doesn’t carry in there are dog treats for me, probably because she knows I’d gobble them down in a heartbeat.  The dog treats stay in her pocket, I and the basket stay on the front of the bike, and everyone is happy.  Well, okay, I’d be happier with a belly full of dog treats, but still.

Thanks for the question!

Ask Toto A Question runs twice a month until the questions run out.  Don't let that happen!  Send Toto your queries at thedogtoto@yahoo.com

Ask Toto #32

Dear Toto,

Do you ever get sick of “Somewhere Over The Rainbow”?  What’s your favorite song right now?

 -- from the internet

Awwwww, how could I get sick of hearing that song?  Not when Judy Garland sings it, nosiree.  She’s the best.

Anyone else who sings it, though.  Well, they just don’t do it justice, do they?  Nope, don’t think so.

I myself, I’m a classic kind of dog.  Heck, I AM a classic.

But when it comes to my musical tastes, I tend towards the classics.

Elvis Presley’s “You Ain’t Nothing But A Hound Dog.”

  

My guilty guilty pleasure (so don’t tell anyone) is Huey Lewis And The News’ “Happy To Be Stuck With You.”

But my all time favorite, I love LOVE Louis Armstrong’s “What A Wonderful World.”

thanks for the question!

Ask Toto A Question runs twice a month until the questions run out.  Don't let that happen!  Send Toto your queries at thedogtoto@yahoo.com

Ask Toto #31

Dear Toto,

Favorite sleeping position?

-- from the internet

Oooooooooh, you have just hit upon a secret thing that’s AWESOME about dogs!  We can sleep in weird and wonderful ways.  Check it out:

It’s awesome to have a compact body, with an extra extra bendy spine, and a waggly tail.

Normally, my #1 absolute favorite sleeping position is smack next to Dorothy.  I like to curl up next to her tummy, so she has easy access to pet me, but she complains that I have bad breath and we need to brush my teeth tomorrow, and then I growl at the thought and then she says “don’t you growl at me!” and then I wag my tail and say I’m sorry and all is mostly forgiven, as soon as I move down to sleep at her feet.

BUT!  That’s at night.  During the day, when it’s just me, my favorite position is sleeping on my back.  My friend Hops will demonstrate:

OH!  It’s SOOOOOOOO comfy!  You guys just don’t know.  You have no idea!  It’s soooooooooo comfy.  Sure, you humans can sleep on your back.  But to sleep on your back with your back legs dangling in the air?  Heaven!  Heaven I tell you! 

Thanks for the question!

Ask Toto A Question runs twice a month until the questions run out.  Don't let that happen!  Send Toto your queries at thedogtoto@yahoo.com

Ask Toto #30

Dear Toto,

Water can get pretty boring after awhile.  Any other favorite beverages?

 -- from the internet

Ah yes.  Water day in, day out.  When the temperatures get to soaring here at the farm, sometimes water just isn’t gonna cut it. 

Dorothy puts ice cubes in my water bowl, and that’s nice.  But wouldn’t a lovely slice of lemon, lime, cucumber, a sprig of mint, perhaps, wouldn’t that be just PERFECT!?  So divine, so elegant, so let’s take our parasols and sit on the veranda and eat little  sandwiches with the crusts cut off…

HEY!  I’M A DOG!

I don’t go for that frou frou stuff. 

Sometimes, in the dead of winter, Uncle Henry will give me a nip of whiskey, and that’s AWESOME.  But he’s the only one that does it, and I know better than to ask for more.

So water it is.  I like it, it likes me, and BONUS!  No calories.

Thanks for the question!

Ask Toto A Question runs twice a month until the questions run out.  Don't let that happen!  Send Toto your queries at thedogtoto@yahoo.com