Dear Toto,
My dog wants to know if it's necessary for every dog to have a Facebook page in this day and age. What if he doesn't want to be found by the mutts he went to obedience school with? Is it rude for him to reject a friend request from the stuck-up Pekingese that he went out with just once?
- Michelle
Hi Michelle!
Yeah, I’m totally with your dog on that one, I don’t understand this fascination you humans have with the whole Facebook thing. Or the computer in general. I mean, why are you staring at the screen? You could be playing with me! I’m in 3-D, even! Your dog will lick your forehead! A keyboard can’t do that!
Look, all dogs have to do to get to know each other is sniff their butts. Tells us EVERYTHING we need to know. One whiff of the batootie, and that dog is etched in my brain. I don’t need a friend request to sniff a butt. I don’t need to take a What Superhero Are You quiz to sniff a butt. I don’t need to comment on your photo, I can sniff your butt!
So what’s the point of Facebook?
(and yes, you can totally reject a friend request from a Pekingese. Because even I don’t have to sniff that butt to know that one’s a stuck-up bitch.)
Thanks for the question!
Ask Toto A Question runs every other week until the questions run out. Don’t let that happen! Send Toto your queries at thedogtoto@yahoo.com.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Monday, April 13, 2009
Rewriting
So I’m deep in the middle of the rewrite, and as usual when I’m rewriting a project, I’m plagued by the chorus of voices that pound my skull with a sledgehammer saying you’re making it worse, you’re making it worse.
When we did a staged reading of draft 2 last November, it went over really well with the crowd. In fact, if you were going solely by crowd reaction, you’d think we have a huge hit on our hands. But while crowd reaction is important, so is story logic, and theme, and character arcs and stuff.
For example, Glinda’s character didn’t do much but show up and do her best Basil Exposition routine. So I had to figure out what to do with her character.
And that brings up what might be the main question as I write and rewrite. It’s not just how can I make Glinda’s character better, or how can I make Scarecrow and Tin Man and Lion better. It’s how can I make them DIFFERENT and better and still make sense within the story.
We all know what they were in the MGM movie. Some of us have even read the original book, and they were pretty much the same. A lot of us have read Gregory Maguire’s Wicked, or seen the musical (I read the book, didn’t see the musical), and know how he did a masterful job of reworking the characters to tell an amazing story of tolerance, politics, and what good and evil really are. Maguire is a super smartypants, and there’s no way I can ever be in the same room as him and his brilliance. I’m a populist; all I really wanna do is entertain people and make ‘em laugh.
In draft 2, Scarecrow, Tin Man and Lion actually do have knowledge, a heart, and courage, and they’re very aware that they do. But they pretend that they don’t in order to stay close to Dorothy and a have a reason to accompany her to Emerald City. Toto sees through their ruse, but can’t get Dorothy to see it. Scarecrow, Tin Man and Lion recognize Toto as a threat, and subsequently try to kill him on the way to Emerald City.
It certainly seemed like a funny idea to try out (as both the audience and Toto see Scarecrow, Tin Man and Lion’s attempts to disguise their gifts in amusing ways.) But it got to be slightly tedious, because all they did was try to flirt with Dorothy and kill Toto. And it got confusing later when the Wizard gave them their “gifts” that they already had.
So I’m trying a different tactic, which may or may not work. I’m workshopping the 1st 25 pages of the new draft through my writer’s group next Monday. Crossing fingers that I’m making it better, not making it worse.
- Amy Heidish
When we did a staged reading of draft 2 last November, it went over really well with the crowd. In fact, if you were going solely by crowd reaction, you’d think we have a huge hit on our hands. But while crowd reaction is important, so is story logic, and theme, and character arcs and stuff.
For example, Glinda’s character didn’t do much but show up and do her best Basil Exposition routine. So I had to figure out what to do with her character.
And that brings up what might be the main question as I write and rewrite. It’s not just how can I make Glinda’s character better, or how can I make Scarecrow and Tin Man and Lion better. It’s how can I make them DIFFERENT and better and still make sense within the story.
We all know what they were in the MGM movie. Some of us have even read the original book, and they were pretty much the same. A lot of us have read Gregory Maguire’s Wicked, or seen the musical (I read the book, didn’t see the musical), and know how he did a masterful job of reworking the characters to tell an amazing story of tolerance, politics, and what good and evil really are. Maguire is a super smartypants, and there’s no way I can ever be in the same room as him and his brilliance. I’m a populist; all I really wanna do is entertain people and make ‘em laugh.
In draft 2, Scarecrow, Tin Man and Lion actually do have knowledge, a heart, and courage, and they’re very aware that they do. But they pretend that they don’t in order to stay close to Dorothy and a have a reason to accompany her to Emerald City. Toto sees through their ruse, but can’t get Dorothy to see it. Scarecrow, Tin Man and Lion recognize Toto as a threat, and subsequently try to kill him on the way to Emerald City.
It certainly seemed like a funny idea to try out (as both the audience and Toto see Scarecrow, Tin Man and Lion’s attempts to disguise their gifts in amusing ways.) But it got to be slightly tedious, because all they did was try to flirt with Dorothy and kill Toto. And it got confusing later when the Wizard gave them their “gifts” that they already had.
So I’m trying a different tactic, which may or may not work. I’m workshopping the 1st 25 pages of the new draft through my writer’s group next Monday. Crossing fingers that I’m making it better, not making it worse.
- Amy Heidish
Monday, April 6, 2009
Ask Toto A Question # 7
Ask Toto #7
Toto-
I've done some research and see that Terry the dog, who enjoyed an eight year acting career spanning ten movies, played you in MGM's 1939 production of The Wizard of Oz. Knowing that Terry trained for two whole weeks at Judy Garland's home for the part, how well do you feel one of Hollywood's most famous canines portrayed you?
Grant in Mid-Wilshire
Hi Grant!
Well, I’m not one to slam a fellow canine, Terry did the best she could. That’s right, Terry is a bitch. What? I’m still not slamming her, she’s a female dog, that’s what they’re called! Calm down, people, sheesh.
Anyhow, Terry was fine, though I can’t help but note a distinct lack of focus in certain pivotal scenes. Check out Terry in the classic scene from Over The Rainbow.
Dorothy! Make the thing happen! The motion capture thing! I can’t work the keyboard.
Where’s Terry looking? Is it at her mistress, who’s trilling so beautifully? No! It’s her trainer just off camera. If you watch this scene like I do, keeping your eye on Terry the whole time (why would you look anywhere else?), you’ll notice that Terry is NOT connecting with Judy Garland. In fact, she’s so out of character, she offers her paw a whole moment ahead of time, at the “That’s wheeeeerrrreeee yoooooooooou’ll fiiiiiiiiiinnnnddddd meeeeeeee.” when she’s supposed to wait until the “Why, then, oh, why can’t Iiiiiiiiiiii” Part.
See, if I had played myself, you couldn’t have gotten me to take my eyes off of Judy Garland, not for a second. Not because Judy was inherently beautiful in her own right, but because she’s playing Dorothy, and there’s no person in the whole wide world that I like to gaze at more. I hardly ever take my eyes off her, that’s how much I love her.
Oh sure, they had offered the part to me, but since Dorothy wasn’t going to play herself, and they were telling the story all wrong anyway, I didn’t wanna be a part of it. Was I jealous at the final product? No, not really. Well, okay, yes, the first time we watched it I howled and howled at dismay at how they got every last thing wrong.
But then I realized how much this version, wrong as it is, has brought happiness to so many people, young and old, and who am I to stand in the way of that? Plus we’re gonna tell the story the way it’s supposed to be told, so the truth IS coming out finally. You just gotta wait for your moment. For stories to be told the right way, and for food under the table, ha ha ha.
I will say, however that Terry really did great in the scene where she barks madly at the cat in the balloon scene. That’s completely the fury I have when I see any cat. Cats are just wrong all over.
Thanks for the question!
Ask Toto A Question runs every other week until the questions run out. Don’t let that happen! Send Toto your queries at thedogtoto@yahoo.com.
Toto-
I've done some research and see that Terry the dog, who enjoyed an eight year acting career spanning ten movies, played you in MGM's 1939 production of The Wizard of Oz. Knowing that Terry trained for two whole weeks at Judy Garland's home for the part, how well do you feel one of Hollywood's most famous canines portrayed you?
Grant in Mid-Wilshire
Hi Grant!
Well, I’m not one to slam a fellow canine, Terry did the best she could. That’s right, Terry is a bitch. What? I’m still not slamming her, she’s a female dog, that’s what they’re called! Calm down, people, sheesh.
Anyhow, Terry was fine, though I can’t help but note a distinct lack of focus in certain pivotal scenes. Check out Terry in the classic scene from Over The Rainbow.
Dorothy! Make the thing happen! The motion capture thing! I can’t work the keyboard.
Where’s Terry looking? Is it at her mistress, who’s trilling so beautifully? No! It’s her trainer just off camera. If you watch this scene like I do, keeping your eye on Terry the whole time (why would you look anywhere else?), you’ll notice that Terry is NOT connecting with Judy Garland. In fact, she’s so out of character, she offers her paw a whole moment ahead of time, at the “That’s wheeeeerrrreeee yoooooooooou’ll fiiiiiiiiiinnnnddddd meeeeeeee.” when she’s supposed to wait until the “Why, then, oh, why can’t Iiiiiiiiiiii” Part.
See, if I had played myself, you couldn’t have gotten me to take my eyes off of Judy Garland, not for a second. Not because Judy was inherently beautiful in her own right, but because she’s playing Dorothy, and there’s no person in the whole wide world that I like to gaze at more. I hardly ever take my eyes off her, that’s how much I love her.
Oh sure, they had offered the part to me, but since Dorothy wasn’t going to play herself, and they were telling the story all wrong anyway, I didn’t wanna be a part of it. Was I jealous at the final product? No, not really. Well, okay, yes, the first time we watched it I howled and howled at dismay at how they got every last thing wrong.
But then I realized how much this version, wrong as it is, has brought happiness to so many people, young and old, and who am I to stand in the way of that? Plus we’re gonna tell the story the way it’s supposed to be told, so the truth IS coming out finally. You just gotta wait for your moment. For stories to be told the right way, and for food under the table, ha ha ha.
I will say, however that Terry really did great in the scene where she barks madly at the cat in the balloon scene. That’s completely the fury I have when I see any cat. Cats are just wrong all over.
Thanks for the question!
Ask Toto A Question runs every other week until the questions run out. Don’t let that happen! Send Toto your queries at thedogtoto@yahoo.com.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
It's An Umbrella, Not A Broom
Because everyone instantly thinks of the MGM movie when you say “Wizard of Oz” I had told myself that I had to be careful with how I was constructing the story for Say Goodbye Toto. The safest thing to do would be to stick solely to the book. If an element is in the movie, and not in the book, then I can’t use it. Which is why there will be no ruby slippers running around Say Goodbye Toto. The shoes are silver in the book. Not sure if they’ll be silver in the play, but they’re definitely not going to be red.
This link has been my most valuable resource. Those are W.W. Denslow’s original illustrations going along with the text. As you can see, the Wicked Witch is a very strange looking woman, but what is she carrying? An umbrella. Not a broom. In fact, she never carries a broom, or flies on a broom, even though she’s entitled to do so because she’s a witch, and that’s what witches do, right?
The broom was added for the movie. I suppose very technically, I could get away with having a broom for the Wicked Witch in Say Goodbye Toto, as long as she didn’t skywrite Surrender Dorothy (which would be difficult to do in a theater anyway.)
But it’s a little weird for a Wicked Witch to be carrying around an umbrella, right? Until you realize the genius of W.W. Denslow’s illustrations. Because we all know what happens to the Wicked Witch, right? She gets melted from what? A bucket of water. So it’s absolutely logical that the witch would carry around an umbrella, not a broom (even if it doesn’t save her in the end.)
The umbrella is never mentioned in the text, W.W. Denslow thought it up all on his own. These little discoveries make the whole researching process worthwhile.
- Amy Heidish
This link has been my most valuable resource. Those are W.W. Denslow’s original illustrations going along with the text. As you can see, the Wicked Witch is a very strange looking woman, but what is she carrying? An umbrella. Not a broom. In fact, she never carries a broom, or flies on a broom, even though she’s entitled to do so because she’s a witch, and that’s what witches do, right?The broom was added for the movie. I suppose very technically, I could get away with having a broom for the Wicked Witch in Say Goodbye Toto, as long as she didn’t skywrite Surrender Dorothy (which would be difficult to do in a theater anyway.)
But it’s a little weird for a Wicked Witch to be carrying around an umbrella, right? Until you realize the genius of W.W. Denslow’s illustrations. Because we all know what happens to the Wicked Witch, right? She gets melted from what? A bucket of water. So it’s absolutely logical that the witch would carry around an umbrella, not a broom (even if it doesn’t save her in the end.)The umbrella is never mentioned in the text, W.W. Denslow thought it up all on his own. These little discoveries make the whole researching process worthwhile.
- Amy Heidish
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Ask Toto A Question # 6
Dear Toto,
I have been a fan of THE WIZARD OF OZ since I was first old enough to watch movies! It all looks so real and magical, there's something I've always wanted to ask you.
Gay marriage. Your thoughts?
Bill in Studio City
Hi Bill!
Okay, first of all, I have to say that marriage is a concept I don’t understand. I understand Owner/Pet. I understand Human/Dog. But what is marriage? I mean, I’ve been with Dorothy ever since I was a pup. I am never never never leaving her side. Why doesn’t that make us married? I wear a type of ring called a collar, though she doesn’t wear one back (that’d be cool if she did, though.)
But why doesn’t that make us married? We love each other, we’re going to be together forever, isn’t that what marriage is? Loving and staying with the same person for the rest of your life, forsaking all others, la la laaaaaaa.
Now gay marriage. Well, aren’t ALL marriages supposed to be gay? Laughing, singing, dancing, tra la la la? Marriages are happy, loving, fun, and a gay old time.
So even if I don’t understand marriage, I think gay marriage is practically a requirement. Because if you’re not happy and gay in your marriage, what’s the point? Thanks for the question!
Ask Toto A Question runs every other week until the questions run out. Don’t let that happen! Send Toto your queries at thedogtoto@yahoo.com.
I have been a fan of THE WIZARD OF OZ since I was first old enough to watch movies! It all looks so real and magical, there's something I've always wanted to ask you.
Gay marriage. Your thoughts?
Bill in Studio City
Hi Bill!
Okay, first of all, I have to say that marriage is a concept I don’t understand. I understand Owner/Pet. I understand Human/Dog. But what is marriage? I mean, I’ve been with Dorothy ever since I was a pup. I am never never never leaving her side. Why doesn’t that make us married? I wear a type of ring called a collar, though she doesn’t wear one back (that’d be cool if she did, though.)
But why doesn’t that make us married? We love each other, we’re going to be together forever, isn’t that what marriage is? Loving and staying with the same person for the rest of your life, forsaking all others, la la laaaaaaa.
Now gay marriage. Well, aren’t ALL marriages supposed to be gay? Laughing, singing, dancing, tra la la la? Marriages are happy, loving, fun, and a gay old time.
So even if I don’t understand marriage, I think gay marriage is practically a requirement. Because if you’re not happy and gay in your marriage, what’s the point? Thanks for the question!
Ask Toto A Question runs every other week until the questions run out. Don’t let that happen! Send Toto your queries at thedogtoto@yahoo.com.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Yes, there was a slight interruption
Hi everyone,
Many apologies for not posting as I should have been. My first produced feature film script: Two Million Stupid Women made its world premiere at the Cinequest Film Festival in San Jose, California two weeks ago, and it took up a large part of my time. Let's see if I can embed the trailer here:
As if you couldn't tell from the title or trailer, the film's a comedy (weird as it is, some people couldn't tell. Like anyone would make a film called Two Million Stupid Women that was LITERALLY about Two Million Stupid Women? Who would do that? Honestly? Please remove the stick from your ass and go get a sense of humor) You can find out more information about it on our website:
http://twomillionstupidwomen.com
And here's an interview we did to support the film. Let's see if this one turns out:
So I promise to get back to a regular posting schedule now. Toto has been very pouty at the lack of attention, even though I left him with my roommates who fed him fine. Keep the questions coming. Mr. Narcissist loves 'em, ha ha ha.
Many apologies for not posting as I should have been. My first produced feature film script: Two Million Stupid Women made its world premiere at the Cinequest Film Festival in San Jose, California two weeks ago, and it took up a large part of my time. Let's see if I can embed the trailer here:
As if you couldn't tell from the title or trailer, the film's a comedy (weird as it is, some people couldn't tell. Like anyone would make a film called Two Million Stupid Women that was LITERALLY about Two Million Stupid Women? Who would do that? Honestly? Please remove the stick from your ass and go get a sense of humor) You can find out more information about it on our website:
http://twomillionstupidwomen.com
And here's an interview we did to support the film. Let's see if this one turns out:
So I promise to get back to a regular posting schedule now. Toto has been very pouty at the lack of attention, even though I left him with my roommates who fed him fine. Keep the questions coming. Mr. Narcissist loves 'em, ha ha ha.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Ask Toto A Question #5
Ask Toto # 5
Dear Toto,
Ever bite a munchkin?
HB
Hi HB!
Oh, I bite Munchkins all the time. I LOOOOOOOVE biting Munchkins, they’re so easy to bite, them being so close to the ground and all. They’ve got thick ankles, which are the BEST kind to wrap a jaw around.
Of course, Dorothy hates it when I do, so I have to wait until she’s not looking, and then it’s not a bite so much as it is a soft kronche , which is kinda demeaning, so I wait until she’s not looking and then I bite down harder, and a Munchkin squeal is SO rewarding, heh heh heh.
And this is as good of a time as any to talk about self-control. I don’t have it. Dogs are not born with it. Therefore, when you humans do the Hand On Your Hips and Head Shaking move and say things like “Why can’t you just LEARN not to shred the couch!” you’re not getting it. I can’t NOT shred the couch. I HAVE to shred the couch. I HAVE to chase the cat. I HAVE to bite the Munchkin. Dogs don’t have self-control, they only have instincts, and my instincts tell me that Munchkin ankle is YUMMERS, and, and, and I HAVE TO BITE IT.
I’m trying to get better at it. I know that I get slapped if I bite the Munchkins. I know that No Biting Munchkin Ankle means No Slap. I just can’t help myself. Because there’s no self-control. It can be freeing in a way. You should try it sometime. Thanks for the question!
Ask Toto A Question runs every other week until the questions run out. Don’t let that happen! Send Toto your queries at thedogtoto@yahoo.com.
Dear Toto,
Ever bite a munchkin?
HB
Hi HB!
Oh, I bite Munchkins all the time. I LOOOOOOOVE biting Munchkins, they’re so easy to bite, them being so close to the ground and all. They’ve got thick ankles, which are the BEST kind to wrap a jaw around.
Of course, Dorothy hates it when I do, so I have to wait until she’s not looking, and then it’s not a bite so much as it is a soft kronche , which is kinda demeaning, so I wait until she’s not looking and then I bite down harder, and a Munchkin squeal is SO rewarding, heh heh heh.And this is as good of a time as any to talk about self-control. I don’t have it. Dogs are not born with it. Therefore, when you humans do the Hand On Your Hips and Head Shaking move and say things like “Why can’t you just LEARN not to shred the couch!” you’re not getting it. I can’t NOT shred the couch. I HAVE to shred the couch. I HAVE to chase the cat. I HAVE to bite the Munchkin. Dogs don’t have self-control, they only have instincts, and my instincts tell me that Munchkin ankle is YUMMERS, and, and, and I HAVE TO BITE IT.
I’m trying to get better at it. I know that I get slapped if I bite the Munchkins. I know that No Biting Munchkin Ankle means No Slap. I just can’t help myself. Because there’s no self-control. It can be freeing in a way. You should try it sometime. Thanks for the question!
Ask Toto A Question runs every other week until the questions run out. Don’t let that happen! Send Toto your queries at thedogtoto@yahoo.com.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)